


Face My Fears

by PhoenixDowner



Series: Those Who Dreamed Series [3]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Nightmares, Post-Canon, Recovery, Romance, Trauma, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-01 11:23:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17243366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoenixDowner/pseuds/PhoenixDowner
Summary: Kairi keeps having nightmares about the moment five years ago that forever changed their lives, and together she and Sora will have to face her fears in order to fully heal.





	1. Nightmares

Chapter 1 – Nightmares

Nightmares.

Normal people had nightmares about things like tests for classes that ended long ago. Car chases and teeth falling out and falling long distances.

But not Kairi. Kairi had nightmares about golden eyes and silver hair and a sword through Sora’s heart.

Because she had been the one to do it. She had been in the weapon that had pierced his heart and killed him. She had heard him take his final breath, felt his heart and soul get ripped from his body.

It didn’t matter that it had already been five years since that had happened. It didn’t matter that the man who had wielded that weapon was long gone. The nightmares made it fresh, real.

Sora’s sharp intake of breath. His blood spilling out onto the ground. His body slumping over the χ-Blade even as he tried to get it to move. His pain and fear and regret as he thought he’d be separated from her, separated from all of them, for good. His agony as he’d pulled the weapon out to do what had to be done. He was screaming and she was screaming and would this nightmare never end, it had been half a decade already and—

Her eyes flew open. Her heart pounded in her chest and her breath came out in loud, panting gasps. Her hair stuck to her forehead in sweaty clumps, and tears streaked her cheeks. The sheets were tangled around her legs and it was too hot, so she kicked them off.

There. That was better. The sea-salt breeze from the open window washed over her skin. The strap of her silk nightie had slipped off her shoulder, and she shakily readjusted it.

_Breathe. Just breathe,_ she instructed herself, taking a deep breath and slowly letting it out. She clutched the sheets and relaxed her grip. The cool band of metal around her finger was her anchor, her reminder that this – this bed, this room, this house – was what was real. The nightmare wasn’t.

Except it _was_ real. That was what made it so much worse.

The figure lying next to her stirred. “Kai, what’s wrong?” Sora’s tired voice slurred. The blanket rustled as he rolled over to face her. She could make out his bleary eyes in the moonlight, looking at her with concern as he put two and two together. “Nightmares again?”

She nodded. He didn’t say anything else, just scooted closer and put his arms around her.

Normal women probably enjoyed catching a glimpse of their husbands’ bodies, but for Kairi things were a little more complicated. Sora never wore a shirt when he slept, and while she loved admiring as much of his beautiful body as he would allow, carved into the skin over his heart was another stark reminder that her nightmare was real.

A large scar from where the χ-Blade had wounded him. Even after all this time it remained.

She touched it now, as was her habit. There was something oddly comforting about doing that. Yes, it was a reminder of his death, but it was also a sign that he was alive. That he’d won. And instead of keeping his godlike powers, he’d given them up.

All so he could be with her. The matching ring on his finger was a sign of the vow he’d sworn to her. She could feel its cool smoothness as he gently caressed her back.

“I’m here,” he said softly. His voice was always deeper right after he woke up, and now was no different. She relaxed into his embrace, breathing in his scent and cherishing the rich meaning behind his words.

Before long, she found herself slipping into the depths of slumber once more, safe and whole in his arms.

* * *

Sora sighed. Three years of marriage and he still couldn’t get over how lucky he was to wake up next to Kairi every day.

Even if he was waking up because she was having nightmares. Neither of them were sure what had caused this recent outburst. Life was going well, and there was no reason for her to feel stressed or upset.

Sora frowned. Xehanort was long gone, and yet the man was still managing to torment his precious wife.

His wife. He still couldn’t get over how nice it felt to call her that, either. He ran his fingers through her silky red hair and planted a gentle kiss on her chest. She had a lot of different nightgowns, but this one was his favorite. It hugged her curves in all the right places, something she was well aware of, going by how she tended to wear it when she really wanted to tease him.

But she’d been less playful lately. The nightmares had really started to take their toll, and there were dark circles under her eyes that betrayed her trouble sleeping. He’d told her to wake him up any time she had one, but he got the feeling she was waking up more often than she was telling him.

He’d been sleeping less soundly as a result of his worry. He wanted to be there for her, to give her the comfort only his physical presence could. But he was getting exhausted. He wasn’t sure how much longer they could keep this up.

He racked his brain again, trying to figure out what was the problem. Not any weird hormonal changes or anything like that. She wasn’t pregnant, nor were they planning on having kids anytime soon. Yeah, they’d married young, and sure, they wanted kids _someday_ , but that was still a good four or five years in their future.

It wasn’t their jobs, either. They traveled a lot, helping keep the peace they’d fought so hard to create, but Kairi loved their work. She loved helping people and she loved the fact that they’d found something meaningful they could do together.

Their relationship? Nah, it couldn’t be. Other than the problems insomnia had created, things were better than ever. Sora thought back to those early months of their marriage, the chaotic adjustment to living together, all the awkward fumbling and embarrassing moments and exciting discoveries as they figured out each other’s bodies. He knew Kairi would agree that they were much better lovers now than when they’d started out. Actually talking about stuff had gone a long way to help with that.

He allowed his lips to brush her forehead. “Kai, what’s wrong, really?” he said softly. He wanted to know so he could fix it. She insisted it was enough that he just be there for her, but he wanted to make the problem go away completely.

His mind wandered back to the idea he’d had earlier: dive into her heart and see what was going on. She had said it wasn’t necessary, that the breathing exercises she was learning from her therapist would be good enough.

Sure, but normal people trauma was kinda different from Xehanort-induced trauma. Xehanort-induced trauma brought with it a whole unique set of issues, like:

  * Loss of personal identity
  * Loss of control
  * Possession
  * Your loved ones being forced to hurt you
  * Xehanort forcing you to hurt your loved ones



Sora sighed again. Would he still be having nightmares if Kairi had scars around her neck from where Xehanort had forced him to hurt her? Maybe. He was proud of his scar and what it represented, but he still had moments when he wished, for Kairi’s sake, that it wasn’t there. That her husband’s body didn’t serve as a daily reminder of all the things she wanted to forget.

Oddly enough, though, the scar seemed to bring her comfort. She’d always paid special attention to it, but with these nightmares lately she would find it every time, and, without fail, touch it or kiss it. Almost as if she saw it as proof that the nightmare was over, or as a way to heal the wound she couldn’t prevent. Whenever she kissed it, a soft light came from her lips that soothed his heart and put his mind at ease, even if the signs of the physical damage remained.

He just wished he could help her the way she always helped him.

Taking a deep breath, he connected his heart to hers and said as many comforting things as he could. She was asleep, but hopefully his voice would make its way into her dreams and banish the nightmares.

For now, at least. He’d done this several times already and while it helped, it didn’t prevent the nightmares that plagued her when he had to sleep.

He was only human, after all. Once, he’d had the power to do more, but he’d given all that up for the chance to be by her side. Who cared about power if he had no one to share his life with. No one to share his joys and sorrows and victories and defeats.

Kairi was worth everything he’d given up. This life they’d built together – he wouldn’t trade it for the world.

If only he knew what was wrong. If only he knew how to fix it.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and snuggled up against her – the big spoon, just the way she liked it – and sighed.

For now this would have to be good enough. Sleep was quickly overtaking him, too.


	2. Fears

Chapter 2 – Fears

Kairi giggled as Sora lowered her to the bed. “You know, sometimes I wonder if you like cuddling more than—”

He silenced her with a kiss. “Who says I can’t like both?” he said afterwards, a playful grin on his face. He went to work unbuttoning her blouse. “The best combo is when one comes right after the other.” The blouse taken care of, he tossed it to the side and started in on her bra.

“Cuddling first this time, then.”

She always loved it when he held her, and with all her nightmares lately, his presence was more comforting than ever.

He deftly unhooked the clasp of her bra and slipped it off. “Cuddling before _and_ afterwards,” he insisted, his face perfectly serious as she fumbled with the zipper on his pants and giggled.

“Deal.”

Afterwards, as he held her in his arms, skin against skin, bodies covered in sweat, tired and satisfied and content, she was glad he had won their bargain. Cuddling before _and_ afterwards was really nice. Nothing made her feel safer than resting in his embrace.

“I love you,” he murmured, his lips brushing against her skin as his hand caressed her hip. Her mind went back to their first time together. Sure, they’d fumbled around a lot, inexperienced as they’d both been, but that moment afterwards when he’d held her, the look of absolute adoration in his eyes as he’d confessed how their coming together had made him feel—

That was one of her most cherished memories.

Together they’d become a lot better at making love, but she still treasured those early days. He’d substituted his lack of skill and experience with a tenderness and desire to please her that had made her heart melt.

Some of that tenderness was on display now as he continued to kiss her body. Each one of his kisses lingered, like he couldn’t get enough of her. During one of his more vulnerable moments he’d even admitted he never felt more whole than when he was inside of her. She felt the same way about him. Like he gave a part of her heart back every time they made love.

Sappy? Sure. But Kairi wouldn’t trade it for the world. And right now, in this moment, her nightmares were far away. Sora’s steady light was more than enough to keep them at bay.

Too bad that protection didn’t extend to her dreams. At least not when he was asleep, too. She woke up, screaming and thrashing and covered in sweat. Another nightmare.

She curled up in his arms, willing her breathing to return to normal as she listened to the steady thud of his heartbeat. Even in the moonlight his skin had a healthy flush to it, completely different from how pale his corpse had been. She pictured it now, with its blood outside his body when it should have been inside of it. Like it was right now. She inhaled deeply, breathing in his scent. He was alive, and that was all that mattered.

“Kai,” he said, his voice filled with anguish as he stroked her hair, “you have to let me in. Please. Let me help. I can’t bear to see you hurting like this.”

She didn’t want him to. He’d already taken so much of her pain; she didn’t want to burden him with any more of it.

“I’ll be okay,” she said, kissing the scar. “This helps more than you know.”

So long as he was by her side, she knew she could pull through.

He gently lifted her chin, and his eyes were filled with anguish. “But it’s not enough. I didn’t die for this. I didn’t die so you could be tormented by memories of what happened to me.”

“No, but you are living for this, right?” She gently trailed her kisses down his chest and to his stomach, just the way he liked it. Each kiss on his warm skin was a physical reminder that he was alive. Her body yearned for his, yearned to have him inside her again. That more than anything else reassured her that the nightmare was over.

“Kairi—”

Her kisses and touches became more insistent as she moved lower. If she focused on this, she could get her mind off of that. Kisses everywhere he liked, touching him all the places she knew he was extra sensitive.

There. His body was responding now, and so was hers.

“Kairi, how will this help?” he asked, gently pushing her away from him. Her heart sank as he did. Being denied even this temporary reprieve was like a punch to the gut. She turned away from him, trying to push down the awful feeling of unwantedness bubbling up inside her.

His hand rested on her shoulder. “We need to talk about this. The nightmares aren’t going away. They’re getting worse.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she shot back, a little harshly. “It won’t help.”

She could practically picture his raised eyebrow. “And sex will?”

“If it helps get my mind off things, then yes.”

“Kairi,” he said, his voice weary, “this has nothing to do with my desire for you.”

Nope. She wouldn’t answer him, even if his words were reaching right to the heart of the issue.

He ran his fingers through her hair. “If you really want me right now, I’ll be happy to give myself to you.”

“Then why’d you stop me?”

Ugh, why did her voice have to sound so – so _needy_?

He paused. “Don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t denying you my body. When I swore to give myself to you, I meant it.”

She turned to look at him, all the things she didn’t want to say written all over her face.

“But…” he added, “something tells me sex won’t make your nightmares go away. The problem isn’t here,” he said, gently stroking her cheek, “or here,” he continued, brushing her arm, “it’s here,” he finished, his hand resting over her heart.

She sighed. As much as she hated to admit it, he was right.

“Can we at least cuddle first?” she mumbled.

He gave her a tender smile. “Cuddling, in my experience, tends to lead to other things.”

How dare he be so persuasive with just a smile alone. “Okay, fine,” she grumbled. “How’s this for a compromise: we cuddle and talk about it at the same time. Then we have sex.”

“Deal.”

He held her in his arms and gently kissed her, telling her all sorts of caring and comforting things to help her relax. When she found her voice, it was a lot harder to get the words out than she’d expected.

“I… I stabbed you,” she finally managed. He was silent, so she continued. “With my… with my Keyblade.”

He twirled a strand of her hair around his finger. “Hmmm. Don’t get me wrong here, but… isn’t it usually the other way around?”

“That’s not funny,” she said, even as she choked back a laugh at his dumb joke. He just gave her a silly grin, and for a moment she forgot all about the nightmare because he was downright _proud_ of himself for that stupid innuendo, the cheeky little—

“You sure? I mean, you’re smiling right now.”

She shook her head. “So? I’m smiling _because_ it’s so terrible.”

He wiggled his eyebrows and leaned closer. “C’mon, you know you’ve thought about it before.”

“Have I?”

“Well, you’re thinking about it now, aren’t you?”

She groaned. “Thanks. Thanks a lot. If I burst out laughing the next time I touch your… _Keyblade,_ now you’ll know why.”

He just grinned at her, and she couldn’t help but giggle. How was it that he always knew how to cheer her up?

But then his expression grew serious, and her mood right along with it.

“I wonder…” he began, “why these nightmares? Why now? It’s been years since this all happened. What caused this latest batch of them? Stress? Anxiety?”

Kairi chewed her lip. “Well, tomorrow— I mean, I guess today— is the five year anniversary since it happened.”

“Oh.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Don’t tell me you forgot.”

He shook his head, his spikes going this way and that. “I didn’t, it’s just that— for me, it’s like a second birthday, almost. It marks my rebirth. It marks my coronation, my crowning, the start of my new life with you. If I hadn’t died, none of that would have happened. There’s a lot more good than bad that came out of it, so that’s what I try to focus on.”

“Makes sense.” That was her Sora, always trying to find the good in the bad, the light in the darkness.

Her fingers found his chest, and she gently massaged his scar. “Sora, what was it like?”

“What was what like?”

“Dying.”

“You felt it happen,” he said quietly. “You know.”

“No, I meant… when you were dead. What did that feel like?”

There was a deep heaviness in his eyes when he finally answered her. “It’s not… it’s not really the kind of thing I can put into words. I don’t know if there even are any words that can describe it.”

“Can you try?”

“Just whose problems are we trying to get to the bottom of here, hmmm?” he joked, but his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.

Best not to press the issue. Instead she found his hand and twined their fingers together. “You heard our voices though, right?”

His eyes softened. “Yes. And your voice was the loudest of them all.” He pulled her close and kissed her forehead, his lips lingering there for a moment, his breath warm against her skin.

“You were immortal, when you came back to life,” she murmured, snuggling into his embrace.

“Death had to let go of me,” he said softly. “Your love, the love of all our friends— it was too strong. It reached past death and found me, there in the darkness.” He leaned back to smile at her. “Opening the door paved the way, but wanting to live again— that was all because of you.”

Her cheeks flushed at that. “You had a promise to keep, after all,” she said, returning his smile.

But then another thought entered her head, and she knew she had to ask.

“But Sora… you could’ve stayed immortal. If dying was so awful... why did you choose to become human again?”

She knew the answer, but she wanted to hear him say it. And in that moment, she almost thought she saw a flash of his old power, a slight glow in his eyes in the dim light.

“No one’s meant to live forever, Kairi,” he finally said, his voice heavy. “I’d rather have one lifetime of happiness with you than an eternity of loneliness and sorrow without you.”

“Even though it means you’ll have to die again?”

Without hesitation, he gave her his answer. “Yes.”

Her heart thudded in her chest at that. Death was worth experiencing all over again, just so he could be with her? What had she ever done to deserve him?

“I hope...  I hope I make it worth your while, then,” she said quietly.

The tender look he gave her more than answered that question, but he said the words anyway. “You already have.”

A lump built in her throat and she had to wipe her eyes. “I thought you said this would make me feel better, not make me cry.”

“Maybe crying’s what you need to feel better.”

“Says the biggest sap of them all.”

He grinned at that. “Being a sap has its perks.”

“Like what?”

“My wife knowing exactly how much she means to me.”

She smiled and wrapped her arms around him, and he held her for a long time after that. No doubt he was exhausted after so many sleepless nights, but he was keeping himself awake just for her.

“I wonder… would facing your fears help?” he asked presently. As always, his brain was searching for a solution. Got a problem? He would fix it. And if at first he couldn’t fix it, he wouldn’t stop obsessively thinking about it until he’d figured out a way _to_ fix it.

She shuddered. “I am _not_ reenacting any of my nightmares. Once was enough, thank you very much.”

“Well, I’d hope so. I’m not immortal anymore, and I can’t will myself back to life, otherwise I would offer.” He brushed a strand of hair out of her face. “What I mean is… could we reenact it inside your heart? If you have to face the situation again but you have control over it, maybe it’ll help.”

She considered this. “Maybe.”

“I think why you’re so upset is because you didn’t have any control over what happened.” He sighed again, his fingers gently brushing the side of her neck. “That’s how I felt when Xehanort made me hurt you, anyway.”

“You got to heal those bruises, but I never got to heal your scar.” She touched it again, willing it to go away, wishing it had never been there in the first place. “Maybe that’s why it’s still haunting me.”

“Then why don’t we try it? Why don’t we try facing your fears?”

“We could, I guess.” Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if they could face them together.

He found her hand and held it tight. “I’ll be here with you every step of the way.”

“Even if I change my mind?”

“Especially if you change your mind. The moment you tell me to stop, I will.”

She took a deep breath. “Okay.”

As she closed her eyes and waited for him to plunge into the depths of her heart and cast her into a deep sleep, she couldn’t help but think, _Please let this work. Please let Sora be right about this._

_I don’t want to live in fear anymore. I don’t want to be afraid of losing him. I don’t want that hanging over every moment of our lives._

_I want us to enjoy the time we have together. Even if it’s all we’ve got._

_Especially if it’s all we’ve got._

_One lifetime of happiness. That’s all I ask._


	3. Dreams

Chapter 3 – Dreams

Kairi’s heart was always really nice and warm. Sora let himself relax as her light enveloped him and flooded his heart with her favorite memories of him, bringing him closer and closer to the deepest layers of her own heart.

Seeing himself through her eyes was always something special. His dorky moments became endearing; his fumbles charming, his moments of frustration and anger interpreted in the best possible light, his sorrows answered with comfort and healing, his shows of love and affection only amplifying _her_ love and affection.

All of that descended on him all at once and even though he’d done this before, it was still almost too much to bear. Kairi’s feelings had only grown with time, and his own heart had gotten a lot more tender and sensitive, too. He was vulnerable with her in a way he wasn't with anyone else, and that meant their hearts were even more closely intertwined than ever.

But he wasn’t here for the good memories right now. No, he needed to find the bad ones. Those were the ones behind Kairi’s nightmares, after all. He traveled back, back, back, back to that moment five years ago that had forever changed their lives and continued to haunt her in her dreams.

His hand brushed against something bumpy. He opened his eyes, and as he drifted down, he realized what the pink ridges were that were floating around him.

Scar tissue. His death had hurt her so deeply her heart was still scarred from it. The scars were healed, of course, but—

“Kairi, why didn’t you tell me before now?” he said softly. He paused and floated closer to the nearest one. Reaching a hand out, he touched it, and immediately he was transported to some new realm within her heart.

Kairi’s heart was filled with light and didn’t have any darkness in it. But this new area that he’d never seen before—

Everything had a red glow to it, like the dying embers of a fire, the color his hand turned when he shined a flashlight through it and the light caught all his blood vessels beneath his skin—

Oh. That was why. His feet had landed on the platform, and beneath him was an image of the χ-Blade through his heart and his body skewered to the door. Seeing it from a different perspective like this was jarring. All his memories of the event were through his own eyes, but this… this was what it would have looked like to a bystander.

Not that Kairi was exactly that, either. As far as he knew, she hadn’t witnessed it with her own eyes, but she sure had felt it, and he wasn’t sure which would have been worse.

“Kairi,” he said softly, “this is in the past. See my face in this image? It’s too young. I don’t look like that anymore. If I was still dead, that would be impossible. Dead people can’t change or grow.”

He waited, but nothing happened. Yeah, no way this was going to be that easy.

He touched the scar on his chest. “Kairi, it’s time to face your fears. I died. This scar is proof of that. Your worst fear has already come true, and that means it can’t get any worse than that. So let’s face the scars you got that day together, okay?” He paused, because if he was asking her to be completely open and vulnerable with him, it was only fair he did the same for her. “And… my scars, too. I know you can always see the one on my body, but the ones inside my heart are just as real.”

He glanced up, and sure enough, she was floating down to join him.

“Your scars, huh?” she said as she landed gracefully beside him.

“Yes. You were taken from me, and I—”

He remembered how his heart had felt. It was like Xehanort had torn it out of his chest and left it lying on the ground dangling by a few strands as he died a slow and agonizing death.

Her face fell. “I know. I heard you scream.”

He brought his hand to her cheek and brushed a strand of hair away. “But I got you back. I got to undo what Xehanort did. I got to rescue you from that awful prison myself.”

“Yes.”

That was one of his favorite memories, the moment he’d held her in his arms again. Nothing compared to the relief and affection he’d felt when he’d gotten her back.

“Kairi, you healed my wounds when we were reunited. Now let me heal yours.” He found her hand and held it tight. “That memory down there, I know it’s awful and scary for both of us. But our love is stronger than death, and we don’t have any reason to be afraid anymore.”

She nodded, and a fire had lit in her eyes. “We can do this.”

Her other hand found his, and he watched as she transformed into her younger self once more, and he into his younger self. She looked so young, too young for what she’d been through.

He’d been too young, too.

She slid her hand under his shirt in a way she wouldn’t have dared to at the time, and her fingers ran over his smooth skin.

“It’s gone,” she said softly, her voice higher, younger.

He found her hand. “So are our rings."

His voice sounded younger, too. She gave him a sad smile, and with that they were swept into the memory.

Sora remembered this place well – the long winding pathway, the great white door. Xehanort holding his friends hostage in the χ-Blade. He hadn’t seen the man since he’d cast him out, other than the occasional nightmare. Seeing him again in Kairi’s nightmares made his blood run cold.

Here was the man responsible for his wife’s torment, for his torment. Even after his death he was still managing to bring pain to them both.

No more. Xehanort had stolen enough from them as it was. Time to put an end to the power he still held over them.

Sora took a deep breath and strode towards the door. He had to do this. No matter how the memory played out, he wanted to give Kairi this chance.

"Xehanort!" he called, his voice steady as he readied his Keyblade. "The light hasn't expired yet. You still have me to deal with."

Xehanort turned to him and sneered, just as he had before. "You! I see that not even casting you into the abyss was enough to stop you.”

He charged, and even though it was for the second time, it still took every ounce of Sora's strength to deflect the χ-blade. His younger body, weakened as it had been by injury and grief, was no match for his current strength, and making the adjustment was jarring. He pushed off of the χ-Blade just in time and jumped backwards before diving into a somersault to avoid Xehanort's next attack.

"Is that really the best you can do?" Xehanort asked. "Dive and dodge and run away from me?" He laughed. "Without your friends, you truly are nothing."

"You're right," Sora said, whirling around to face him, saying it with even more conviction than before. "Even though you think they're gone, I know they're not." He put a hand over his heart, its steady rhythm pulsing beneath his fingertips. "So long as I hold their memory in my heart, they aren't—"

Xehanort raised an eyebrow, and Sora trailed off and braced himself for what he knew was coming next.

"In your heart, you say?” Xehanort said. “I can arrange that."

Right before Xehanort could drive the χ-Blade through his heart, though, Kairi broke into the memory and parried the attack, protecting him from the piercing wound that had killed him before.

“Foolish girl, don’t you know it is his fate to die?” Xehanort asked as they drove him backwards together. “Without his death he never would have defeated me.”

Kairi slammed a wall of water into him. “No, it’s not true, he could’ve won without dying—”

“False. He was no match for my power, and only when I thought I had won was he able to defeat me.”

“No. All he had to do was open the door. In no way did that require his death.” Her lip curled. “You’re not what I’m afraid of. Now get out of my heart!”

Her light struck him, and he disappeared into a swirl of smoke, leaving just the two of them behind. But the memory didn’t end. They were still stuck inside of it. And that meant something else still had to be done. 

“You can see now, right?” Kairi asked, her voice low, her hand shaking. “Xehanort wasn’t what I was really afraid of.” 

“What were you afraid of, then?” he asked softly.

She turned around to face him, and there were tears in her eyes. “Losing you.”

He let his Keyblade disappear. “Then you know what you have to do.” He gave her a sad smile and held his arms out.

Her lower lip trembled and her hand shook as she tried very hard not to cry.

“Kairi, it’s okay.”

“But Sora—” she wailed.

“Do you trust me?”

“Yes, I do, but—”

“Then kill me. Xehanort didn’t let you kill me. He forced you to. So I’m going to let you kill me. You decide when to deal the death blow. You decide when your Keyblade is going to go through my heart. And I will be here with you every step of the way.”

Tears streamed down her cheeks, and he couldn’t bear to see her suffering any longer. He wrapped his arms around her as she sobbed, comforting her the way he hadn’t been able to at the time, the way he’d longed to comfort her.

“I’m here. Kairi, I’m here,” he said over and over again.

“Sora, I love you—” she choked out, and a moment later her Keyblade went through his heart. His eyes went wide and his breath caught. It hurt, but it was a different pain from what had originally killed him. Knowing it was coming from Kairi, it almost didn’t feel like pain at all. Not even when she pulled her Keyblade back out and let it fall to the ground.

“I love you too,” he said, smiling in relief as his body slumped against hers. It was over, it was finally over. She’d taken back control, had faced her deepest fears with unflinching courage. Xehanort held no power over her. Death had no power over her. Her sorrow and grief didn’t, either. They might still be there, but she knew how to handle them now. Her suffering was in her hands, on her terms, and that meant she could finally heal. 

She staggered backwards as she caught him and gently lowered him to the ground.

“I’m so proud of you,” he murmured, wiping the tears away from her cheeks.

She sobbed as she cradled him in her arms. “You were alone. I just wanted to hold you as you died. You were all alone and I wanted to be there for you.”

He smiled again. “Kairi, even though I was alone, I was never really alone. You know that, right?”

She nodded, her tears falling onto his face. His breathing got shallow as his life ebbed away. But he knew what was waiting for him on the other side. He wasn’t afraid.

When she leaned down and brought her lips to his, his last breath escaped into her sweet kiss.

He couldn’t think of a better way to die, really.

* * *

When his eyes fluttered open, he was back in the same part of Kairi’s heart he’d been in before. He rested his hand over his scar, and that and his wedding ring were his two anchor points, his proof his body was back to normal.

He breathed a deep sigh of relief. His life and his heart were in Kairi’s hands and had been for a long time, but it still took a pretty big act of trust to allow her to kill him, even in a dream.

He glanced at the memory below him. It had changed. Instead of being of the moment Xehanort had wounded him, it was of her cradling his dying body in her arms.

“Kairi,” he said, reaching towards the memory. That her healing would come from comforting him in his dying moments was enough to both warm his heart and make him tear up. He walked to the scar tissue and kissed it. It was no longer pink and puffy, and with his kiss it healed even further. The red glow over everything was gone now, too, replaced by her heart’s gentle light.

“Kairi,” he said again. When he turned around to face her, it was with a radiant smile. Her eyes were filled with tears, but she was smiling, too. She launched herself at him, and he caught her and welcomed her into his embrace.

“I’m alive, see?”

“I was so scared… I didn’t know if it was going to work—”

“Thank you for trusting me,” he murmured into her hair. “I know it wasn’t easy.”

She choked out something between a laugh and a sob. “You were the one who let me kill you again. I’d say you were the one who really had to do the trusting.”

His grip around her tightened. “I meant it when I swore to give myself to you. My life is yours, Kairi.”

“And mine’s yours.” She leaned back and searched his eyes as she ran her fingers through his hair. “I know the pain isn’t gone. I know the scars are still there. But I know I can face them now, too. You’re here by my side, and I’m not afraid anymore.”

As he brought her back into his embrace, he thought he understood why. Courage wasn’t the opposite of fear. No, love was, and only it was strong enough to cast fear away.

Against it even their worst memories, their darkest demons, their greatest fears, didn’t stand much of a chance. No, none of that stood much of a chance at all.

* * *

Sleeping in Sora’s arms was always comfortable. He was really warm and safe and he had this wonderful smell that just—

Hang on.

Kairi’s eyes fluttered open. Sunlight was pouring through the windows and bathing their bodies in its soft rays. Day. They had made it to the morning, and she hadn’t had a single nightmare.

It had worked. It had really worked.

“Morning, lazy bum,” she said as she swept a strand of hair out of his face.

“Morning, Kai.” His voice was slurred and his eyes were still closed, but he made an adorable happy noise when she kissed him. She deepened the kiss, and he kissed her back, slowly, lazily, like they didn’t have a care in the world, like this moment was all that mattered.

“No more nightmares?” he asked afterwards, his blue eyes looking vibrant and rested for the first time in ages.

“No more nightmares,” she confirmed. “In fact, I had a pretty good dream.”

“Yeah? What about?”

She gave his nose a quick peck. “You.”

He smiled sleepily. “I had a pretty good dream about you, too.”

“Oh?”

“M-hmmm. I could tell you about it… or I could just show you.” He gave her a grin that made her heart skip a few beats. “We did make a deal, after all.”

She giggled. “Yes, we did.”

As they fulfilled their deal, Kairi gazed into his eyes. He had joined their hearts together as well as their bodies, and nothing felt better than connecting to the man she loved so dearly on every level possible. He held nothing back, giving every part of himself to her just like he’d promised, and she shared herself with him completely, too.

The intimacy they shared because of that, well—

It was worth facing even the worst of her nightmares. It was worth it by far.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that Face My Fears is done! Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed. KH3 here we come!

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! Thank you for reading!
> 
> I didn't originally plan on making any sort of continuation for Those Who Dreamed, but I wanted to explore the idea of Kairi and Sora working through their trauma together some more, so here we are.
> 
> Some quick content warnings: there will be implied/referenced sexual content, as Sora and Kairi are married in this story. It's nothing graphic or explicit, but it is there. If that's not your cup of tea, that's totally fine, but I do ask that you refrain from commenting and find a story more suited to your tastes instead. There are plenty of good stories I can recommend if you're interested. 
> 
> Also, Sora's death in Those Who Dreamed has already been referenced, and it will be referenced again as a part of the trauma they have to work through. 
> 
> There are three chapters total, and updates will be posted once a week on Fridays.
> 
> And as always, thank you for reading! Feel free to comment if you'd like; I always love hearing from you all! Please no spoilers in the comments though about KH3 promo material from December 2018 on.
> 
> Speaking of which... KH3 will be here before we know it! Less than a month now!


End file.
